i f0und a reas0n behind all my snappiness laz week till n0w..im relli in a pms m0od. t0dae my farkin menses came..suay ah~! i was waiting f0r dis dae....yesterdae, had a fight wif my mom. gawd how i hate her.

i pictured myself coming out of the goddam bathroom, dressed and all, with a knife in my pocket, and staggerin around a lil bit. then i'll walk towards the living room. what i'd do, i'll walk towards her, holding on to my guts, blood leaking all over the place - & then i'll call out to her. as soon as she turns around, she'll see me with a knife in my hand and she'd start screamin at me, in dis very high-pitched voice, to leave her alone. but i'll stab her aniwae. six stabs right thru her stomach. then i'll throw away my knife out the window- after i'd wiped off all the fingerprintz and all. then i'd call up wan and meet at his place. he'll welcome me and bandage up my guts. i pictured him holding a cigarette for me to smoke while i was bleeding and all.

the goddam movies. they can ruin u. im n0t kidding. g0t myself talking lyke a madman there. back t0 reality.

after the fite, i stayed in the bathroom for bout an hour, taking a bath and all. then i got back to bed. it took me quite a while to get to sleep- i wasnt even tired- but i finally did. what i relli felt lyke, though, was committing suicide. i felt lyke jumping from the highest st0rey. i pr0babley w0uld've d0ne it, too, if i'd been sure somebody'd cover me up as soon as i landed. i didnt want a bunch of stewpit rubbernecks looking at me when i was all gory. speaking of gory..i hate it when my menses come..everytink's so bloody and messy..

everytink's hell fer me n0w..i cant even sleep during da aftern0ons..da bl0ody c0nstucti0n in fr0nt 0f my h0me hasnt cleared up yet..da cats are always fighting under my blk..my sis said dat dey were juz h0rny and all..wad da fark..and adding t0 da n0ise p0llution are aeroplanes getting on my nerves each tyme it passes by in the sky...trust me..living in jurong is a torture cuz of da damn aeroplanes..tank gawd i didnt live in bo0n lay..well yea cuz dats juz lyke 4 bus-st0pz away...wad da hell am i crapping b0ut niwae? u g0 figure...